Lullabyes

Back when Zoe was in utero, we used to talk to each other. Sometimes at night while falling asleep, sometimes on the train home from work. It was comforting. I also started singing to her. I made up songs and I changed the lyrics of others. I wanted to sing something soothing and beautiful - a simple melody with words that reflected the family waiting for her, the world we'd explore, little sparrows and fluffy bunnies and sparkling raindrops .... not 'and when the bow breaks, the cradle will fall...!  WTF?!  Jeez.  Did the people who write lullabies stop after 1940? And why were lullabies so violent? And why does that one continue to survive decade after decade??  Anyhow, so I remember a song from CYO Camp Christopher "Kumbaya."  I had to look up the melody on You Tube (and no, You Tube is never scary) but realized there aren't many lyrics to remember.  It's basically "Kumbaya My Lord, Kumbaya."  So I added a few lines that I change up and rotate depending on the night and it becomes my way to end the day with Zoe. Our little prayer together. 

Kumbaya My Lord, Kumbaya...

Help her rest, My Lord, Kumbaya.  Help her rest, My Lord, Kumbaya. 

Basically you can add anything with 3 syllables:  Bless this child; Keep her safe; Help her heal.

My other favorite, and, ahem, it's an original ;) Is a great way to run through the names of our family so Zoe thinks of each one regularly and becomes familiar with their names even if they live far away.  

It goes like this:

"Mama loves you and Daddy loves you; It's time to go to sleep.

Nana loves you and Bapa loves you; It's time to go to sleep.

Auntie Jana loves you and Uncle Jason loves you; It's time to go to sleep."

Etc.

If I had any idea how to indicate the melody or even the major notes, I'd do it. But I hated my piano classes when I was 13.  I could kick myself now.

The inevitable and unavoidable sadness of the MMR

Tomorrow is the day. We've put it off long enough. We signed the waivers at the doctor's office because we refused the shot.  We scheduled and canceled appointments. But we really can't wait any longer.  Pediatricians 'suggest' that the MMR shot should be given between 12-16 months.  Baby Zee is 21 months.  We tried to find a divided dose because we really just can't comprehend how one little body can handle these 3 ugly diseases at once: Measles, Mumps and Rubella.  The "informative" reading given to us about the MMR shot describes the medieval horror that should befall your child if you DON'T get the vaccination: Seizures, deafness, blindness, dull stares - seriously, the scare tactic is working on me.  But with all the new 'luggage' that comes with a child's vaccination schedule there are so many other things to worry about. And I'm a Class A Master Worrier.  I'm sorry baby Zee but I know it's got to be this way. You'll get through this. Your father and I survived our vaccinations and who knows what the hell was in those shots in the '70s.   But you hate shots. You hate the doctor's office. In fact you hate and scream at anyone remotely resembling a doctor. Or an office. So this will not be easy.  Fortunately for me, your Daddy has a great poker face hiding that huge breaking heart so he will take you. You know your Mommie only adds to your terror by sobbing herself, so I will hide in the bathroom at work promptly at 10:30am and say a thousand Hail Mary's and help you get through it.   I'm sorry I'm not more help.  Here I thought childbirth was supposed to be the most difficult.  It's not the pain you gave me then that is the worst, it's the pain I see you endure. And will endure the rest of your life - through vaccinations to skinned knees, to rejection and disappointment. I'll do everything I can to let you experience just enough to understand because you need to learn and grow and become the amazing person you are destined to be.  My little sweetness and light - stay strong and be brave.