Lullabyes

Back when Zoe was in utero, we used to talk to each other. Sometimes at night while falling asleep, sometimes on the train home from work. It was comforting. I also started singing to her. I made up songs and I changed the lyrics of others. I wanted to sing something soothing and beautiful - a simple melody with words that reflected the family waiting for her, the world we'd explore, little sparrows and fluffy bunnies and sparkling raindrops .... not 'and when the bow breaks, the cradle will fall...!  WTF?!  Jeez.  Did the people who write lullabies stop after 1940? And why were lullabies so violent? And why does that one continue to survive decade after decade??  Anyhow, so I remember a song from CYO Camp Christopher "Kumbaya."  I had to look up the melody on You Tube (and no, You Tube is never scary) but realized there aren't many lyrics to remember.  It's basically "Kumbaya My Lord, Kumbaya."  So I added a few lines that I change up and rotate depending on the night and it becomes my way to end the day with Zoe. Our little prayer together. 

Kumbaya My Lord, Kumbaya...

Help her rest, My Lord, Kumbaya.  Help her rest, My Lord, Kumbaya. 

Basically you can add anything with 3 syllables:  Bless this child; Keep her safe; Help her heal.

My other favorite, and, ahem, it's an original ;) Is a great way to run through the names of our family so Zoe thinks of each one regularly and becomes familiar with their names even if they live far away.  

It goes like this:

"Mama loves you and Daddy loves you; It's time to go to sleep.

Nana loves you and Bapa loves you; It's time to go to sleep.

Auntie Jana loves you and Uncle Jason loves you; It's time to go to sleep."

Etc.

If I had any idea how to indicate the melody or even the major notes, I'd do it. But I hated my piano classes when I was 13.  I could kick myself now.

Nina Garcia, Maternity leave, and the dillweed planet.

I love Project Runway and had only merely listened half-heartedly to Nina Garcia's critiques - until now.  She's a high - powered exec at a great magazine AND she's also a judge on Project Runway, AND she has a 3 year old son - AND now she's pregnant with her second child AND (last one, I promise) she's 45! She's probably not up to a-level J-Lo celebrity status in order to command a team of helpers so my guess is she and her husband are doing this on their own (with a nanny and daycare.) But we all know that the behind-the-scenes, in the dark of 4am, way before help arrives, is the most trying and taxing part of the equation: How to get oneself dressed, feed family and arrive at work looking alive, rested and enthusiastic - now THAT's the challenge. Doing this at any age isn't easy but, I have to admit, personally, I get the feeling it might have been a bit easier in my younger years so for Nina to do this at 45 is a huge undertaking. And don't forget the emotional impact. Leaving 2 babies at home or in daycare can be excruciating!  Women are pulled apart daily by the emotional and financial impact of childrearing and yet we contribute just as much (read: if not more) to business and humanity than the male contingent.  States and local governments also don't recognize our sacrifices. (Read this about how you can still get fired for going on maternity leave!) We are made to feel guilty and treated as if we spend our maternity leaves lounging and eating bon-bons.  But when will the rest of humanity realize that the human race will perish without children??  Women aren't taking maternity leaves to take up a hobby or get tattooed, WE ARE RAISING THE CHILDREN THAT ARE THE FUTURE OF THE PLANET, you dillweeds.   I fortunately, had a fairly understanding work environment that allowed me to work from home my last week of pregnancy and also take 30 minutes twice a day to pump since I was breastfeeding. I did take 3 months off but, like every other mother -only in the US! - it was unpaid.  I do applaud Aflac for offering an additional type of insurance for what society has declared a 'disability' - that's how pregnancy and maternity leave are categorized by medical and insurance companies: a disability. I'm pretty sure anyone who has had the privilege of being pregnant and giving birth to a beautiful life, and sustaining that little life fully and completely with your own breastmilk, would disagree that this is a 'disability.'  Don't forget that ever single one of you lawmakers had a mother too and without her, you wouldn't be here.

My bouncing baby belly balance ball

One of the best items I've found for one's child-bearing years, based strictly on it's ability to multi-purpose, is the Balance Ball. Pre-pregnancy, things like waist circumference and the effects of gravity really didn't monopolize my thoughts and a little bit of exercise went a long way (my post-baby self laughs heartily at this) - mostly in the mood altering department (hello endorphins!) I liked a straight posture so a balance ball helped keep that up. Then when I got pregnant and we signed up for class to inform us of all the eye-opening things that encompass 'birth', the instructor showed us a pregnant woman's best friend -the balance ball. We could kneel next to it, drape our arms across it, rest our heads on it and let the belly hang in the breeze. It was one way I knew I could take a break from holding up all that excess weight. The ball transitioned nicely into an early-stage labor accomplice for that same reason or I'm sure it probably could have provided something to punch endlessly during the pain. Since I had a c-section (baby was breach the whole time) I didn't get the chance to roll around with the balance ball while enduring contractions but it sure looked like a good suggestion. After our sweet little girl was born, the natural parenting instinct to rock a baby to sleep kicked in. Seeing as how we are challenged in the space department in our little Brooklyn apartment and the nursery had just enough room for a crib, it meant no rocking chair. But, once again, the balance ball delivers. We held her while bouncing gently on the balance ball, working out our core muscles while putting the baby to sleep! She loved the bouyancy it created - must have felt like the womb. I'd like to say my mid-section has benefited but that would imply that I put some effort into it. Ha ha. However, when not utlizing all the many personalities of the Balance Ball, baby and I like to relax with simultanous, side-by-side Downward Dog. Isn't she the cutest?